Getting to the core issues that have been preventing me from
riding my new Trek Road bike.
Sometimes forgiveness is all it takes. Well, almost all it takes.
Working with our Inner Child.
EFT To Overcome Fears of Cycling and Bike Riding. Part 8.
This is the last part of my journey to uncovering personal subconscious incongruence and secondary gain that over my life had been limiting me and in this case preventing me from gaining the greatest pleasures from riding my new road bike and cycle training. The links to other parts of this article can be found at the bottom of this page.
You may remember that I had arrived at a stage where I had realised that at a some level of mind I had a few glitches. I had just uncovered that my inner kid ( as Dr Who would say "it's not really like that, but if it helps") had some concerns about hurt and being hurt, and as I was to soon discover concerns about seeking forgiveness for hurts, offences or wrong doings, given or received, real or imaginary.
Much of what we are, how we behave and what we do and feel has been programmed into us by our parents, social conditioning, religious fantasy and us. We are designed to run on auto-pilot and much of what we do and feel is automatic. Parental, social and religious neurosis and the outdated programming, can, if we desire be easily changed using many techniques including EFT emotional freedom therapy and some reality checking,
So once again I was in my favourite chair with my pad and coloured pens, ready to do another "eft mind map" to uncover hurts or wrongs real or imaginary that I may have given or received, that required forgiveness so that I would be free from the past and the past would be free from me.
I started by doing my energy drills and setting up a statement of intent and my desired outcomes and created a state of compassion, love (It's not what you think it is.) And playfulness, as it is always a good idea to get into a state that will help.
My other mind had a few concerns about what we were about to do and I had a few tail-enders to deal with first. Once these were neutralised we got to work and started to play.
The mind map showed many rational and irrational fears and concerns about injury and hurt. So I mapped these out and all the associations. I noticed that often I had hurt my self and my inner child was very unhappy with me. Any of you who have children or ever been one knows that a child is not a nice thing.
Something that many people forget is that children’s emotions are very strong and often very unpleasant, most children are not bundles of love and light. Children are nasty emotionally. I often laugh to myself when inexperienced therapists and the fluffy want to “become as a child”.
Children are often selfish, spiteful, revengeful working totally on survival instincts and with little regard for others. Only considering themselves with powerful mood swings. We have to program them to become pleasant to be around and often we can only do this with pain, often installing beliefs of what will happen if they are naughty and the punishment they will receive. Who the hell would want to become as a child?
However, much of what runs our lives comes from this part us, you may even know some adults who are like this. It seamed I had a very angry pissed off inner kid to deal with, who was also afraid of being found out for all the naughty things he had done and thought he needed to be punished for.
He was also filled with resentment over what others had done to him in the past, or through lack of maturity at the time or misunderstanding, felt had been done to him.
Time to clear up some misunderstandings in life and get closure on many things, and give and receive the forgiveness that was necessary to help this hurting child. ("it's not really like that, but if it helps")
One of the things that came up again was a memory of "riding a bike when I was a kid" I decided to start with this one as I had been putting it off.
So I started with the memory’s related to riding a bike.
As a child I had two related memories. 1.My chopper, which was very uncomfortable to ride, but looked great, 2. Fitting mirrors on a bike and having a near fatal accident and getting a bollocking from Dad. “You will kill yourself on that bike”. Was this an embedded command from my Dad?
Ok we may have something to play with here as they do seam related.
The uncomfortable chopper first, as a child these bikes looked great and mum and dad had got me one for my birthday. It looked fantastic and I was the only kid that had one in our area. It was great and I spent many hours riding around and enjoying the ego trip.
As I went further it hurt, the seat and riding position were terrible and the bike caused me a lot of pain and a part of me resented the fact that it looked great but I was unable to use it as I had dreamed. It was also Blue. A bit like, the Trek.
EFT set up statement.
OK. Even though as a young inexperienced child with little emotional intelligence I got my dream bike that turned out to disappoint me, I love except and appreciate my self then and now, and forgive my self and others for any misunderstanding, real or imaginary.
I went through the drills and noticed a difference in the younger me, cool. As the younger me was re-educated I worked with the younger me. Tapping on him and giving insights. “Doing the drills on a younger you” works.
Ok. So what about Dad? “You will kill yourself on that bike” That one rated about a 10 on the suds scale. Time for a new “EFT Mind Map”
Stuff, images memory and emotions that came up. Having fun, being cleaver, sunny day, cool bike, feeling cocky, two cars, I can get through there, mirrors, great I can see behind, fall off, telling dad how cool I was, excited, Dad angry, bollocking, sorry, resentful, what does he know, feeling stupid, feeling silly, bugger I could have been killed, mum upset. TV aerial in bed room taken away, getting the TV working using a coat hanger as an aerial, Dad coming back in, very angry, taking the TV away, anger, resentment, spite, embarrassment, at having been caught out, feeling not very cleaver.
All these feeling from two little memories and most of them not nice.So I began to work through the list of emotional memory’s and glitches that this young inexperienced child had. As you can imagine this also involved working with problems I had with my parents.
You know the procedure. “EFT and my parents” ( an article on sorting out glitches with my dad.)I then turned my attention to all the times I had sabotaged myself and hurt me. I requested forgiveness from my body ( you know what The Doctor would say}
"Even though in the past I indulged in thinking or activates that injured you and me and if some part of us needs revenge or compensation or punishment please go to them and let those parts know that I am truly sorry. I ask forgiveness for any wrongs I may have knowingly or mistakenly carried out. Make it so". As I did this I smiled inwardly and he smiled back. Yes, it is a "huna" technique.
I decided to draw a mind maps concerning my childhood, teens, adult life and my present life and future life.
This included all my past, present and future friends, girlfriends, lovers, mistresses, wives, children, bosses and people I had employed, relatives and students I have had or have, people who I had dropped and people who had dropped me, as well as casual contacts in my life.
Basically anyone I may have come into contact with or may do so. I was doing transderivational searches for anyone who I may have caused offence to, OR HAD RECEIVED real or imaginary, on their part or mine. As you know there are many sad, stupid, miserable people out there who take offence, when none was meant or intended. Such low life's need to be protected against.
So I went through the list some were big however each time and to each person I requested my subconscious mind to go to the subconscious mind of the person and communicate to them.
"Even though I may have injured, or caused offence to you, you will know I am truly sorry I ask forgiveness for any wrongs I may have knowingly or mistakenly carried out against you. Make it so".
I also had some notes and mind maps that came up on possible past lives, as you can imagine that brought up much violence, death, destruction, given and received. Memory’s of being male and female. Being a husband and wife, and the death of many children, mine, ours and others, ordered or just because. But for now I was concerned with this life time.
I may write about using “EFT to deal with past life glitches” in the future.
This time it felt very different, much deeper and cleansing. As I worked through I felt many great weights lifting from me. Many things I had forgotten flashed past me. Not just painful emotions, but hundreds of beautiful, lovely, memory’s and emotions, channels of communication were clearing.
Sometimes it was as if a dam had broken and as the waters washed down, it may have been a “Rain of blessings from my higher self” the force took out other smaller dams and blockages.
Over the next few days this happened many times, new learning discovery’s and guess what other stuff to do, guess that's life. I now had a lot of rebuilding to do.
Many beliefs had gone, old habits were fading, I suddenly discovered new habits and pleasures, things that I was contented with now annoyed me, forgotten dreams returned, things were looking fresh like “after a storm when everything is fresh and new”. Cool.
Lots and lots of stuff to play with. I needed to discover, remember or develop effective techniques that would speed up the process for me. I also needed some sort of automatic maintenance program that would detect, isolation and fix the simpler glitches as they arose. A program that would also inoculate me from future problems if possible and alert me to things that would need my attention and special skills. But that's another article.
The weeks since have been filled with many lovely rides. As my skills and confidence with the bike grows it just gets better with every ride. Of course the bike apart from the breaks, is the same, "It is me who has changed and is still making changes". My goals and desires have changed concerning cycling, the rides and lengths and type of training have changed and yes, new challenges and glitches to play with. It's all rather lovely.
I have ran through this process with many of my friends and the usual comments have been negative, “That's a lot of work," “I’d never do that” “I'd have just sold the bike”.
Strange that, many people say they “want something” or “desire this or that” “I would love to” “I must do it” but they never do. It reminds me of a story I read somewhere.
A keen music lover went to a piano concert and was deeply moved by the concert and the magical performance. When it was over she meet the performer at the after concert party.
She said to him “ I would give my whole life to play like you did this evening”
He smiled and said.
“Madam, I have”
We all demonstrate to ourselves, the people around us, and the world what is important to us. What we care about, what we are passionate about.
By what we do. Not what we say.
When I asked a different group of friends, wealthy clients, masters of martial arts, very good pilots and people who have achieved successful lives, they said, “ Of course that's what you have to do, if you want something, you have to do what is necessary to achieve it”
So you have an idea of some of the stuff I did.
What are you doing to live your dreams?
Part 1. Using Emotional Freedom Techniques to Overcome Fears and Anxieties of Cycling.
Part 2. Introduction to ecology check to clear some of the undergrowth that was limiting my future pleasure of riding my new bike and my fears and anxieties of cycling.
Part 3. Lets start with an ecology check.
Part 4. Looking at the list of glitches that needed to be fixed in order to enjoy cycling.
Part 5. The bike arrives. A can of worms, deeper emotional problems are uncovered.
Part 6. Get closer to any deeper or core emotional problems that often limit our lives.
Part 7. Fear of falling off a bike and being injured. EFT fixes it.